1. Could you drive any better if I shoved
that cell phone up your _____?
2. If you can read this, I can slam
on my brakes and sue you.
3. 100,000 sperm, and YOU were the
fastest?
4. Don't piss me off, I'm running out
of places to hide bodies.
5. You are depriving some poor village
of it's idiot.
6. Save your Breath, You'll need
it to blow up your date.
7. Forget world peace. Visualize
using your turn signal.
8. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE......PLANT A
MAN.
9. All men are animals, Some just make
better pets.
10. Some people are only alive because it is illegal
to shoot them.
11. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
12. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
13. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
14. I need somone really bad....Are you really
bad?
15. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
16. All men are idiots....I married the KING.
17. The more you complain, the longer GOD makes
you live.
18. Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle
drugs.
19. Smile, it's the second best thing you can do
with your lips.
20. He took the I.Q. test, and the results were
negative.
21. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
22. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
